Funny Status in English

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth..

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs!

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection.

It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.

Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…

Here my dad comes on whatsapp.. From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship.

C.L.A.S.S – Come late and start sleeping 

Good Morning, let the stress begin…

Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.

People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.

We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

You don’t have to like me… I am not a facebook status.

The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.

Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.

At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.

Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’

I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as ‘Free Recharge’

I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition!

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing.

This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.

Wow now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things. Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.

It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.